Oh my mama... today it seems to be the happiest day of this year but i somehow dun feel it. Everything seems to be over but also not. Maybe its too sudden to accept the fact that exams are finally over because i have worked so hard for a year!!!! A year!!!! Okay lets think back.........before the exams, oh ya we did many revision. ( duhhhhh) And ya.... the teachers do most of the talking. ( my brother said duhhhh) okay but its true wat. 6 science papers and 1 encyclopedia thick of maths. At first, i like maths a lot during p6 but now.... no more. Why? Maybe things do change. My perspective for studying maths is changing. No it should be my perspective for studying maths changed. Science was preety hilarious as mrs phua told us about sick stuff and surprisingly, more than 3/4 of the class was like damn ....excited. Excited? Is this the right word? Well, i was traumatised. But i continued to stay cool and calm and consent! She also told us about her maid who didn't close the car door after she opened it because she thought it will automatically close. Worst...she was sitting in the inner side in the car and mrs phua's baby was sitting nearest to the door when the car door swung right open when she drove off without knowing it. She also said that her maid loves to boil water that she place water everywhere. At the living room, dining room and the stairs then one fine day..... omg 2 people fell and somersault down the stairs man. When electricity went off, she told her to bring the torch to her and she bought a lighter instead. So, she is trying to say that she has this maid to teach her the real meaning to haave patience for people whom you practically cannot be patient with. Oh poor thing for both party.
Okay back to the exams...During the exams...... monday arh i write until i sprain my hand. Best. At home, wrap the wrist with bandage then in school, take it out ( duhhh) tuesday......okay.......wed......okay.......thurs.....okay Aiya fan zhen everday seems okay to me.
Most surprisingly, i dun feel anything now. Things doesn't seem to end yet. Maybe its bcos of the stress coming to me for the friday cca. I really dread to go okay. Do u know the feeling of having to put cca to a stop is like heaven to me but when its starting, whapiangeh the feeling is like.... being pregnant like that okay.... i dun want to go but i have no choice cos......erm......everyone say so. I am tired now. I dun want cca. I dun want to go for drill. Can i say that everyone is pressing me in school for drill....everyone is like practically gluing their eyes on me okay....thats why im so scared of making mistakes. Okay i remembered that i studied so hard u know. Even harder than PSLE. best. I dun know why. But this exam seems to be so important.
I am getting tired over everything. I feel that i am not as close to my friends anymore. I feel that i am so tired of everything. maybe bcos its the exams that exhaust me out... but i dun know. Friends change....they change bcos they mix with other people and soon after, they change to become more and more like them. Some make me feel so piss and some would be leaving me for vacation for a long period of time. They will never understand the feeling of loneliness. Ya so i decided to like stop being so close to them afterall as the closer u are to them, when they are leaving u, the more pain u have to endure. The pain is greater when u are closer to that person. So i have been going with other friends as i know secrets about her and another girl so i decided to leave them. I think they felt that i was less close to them and they think that i go with another girl because i am selfish so i leave them. But thats so not my style. I tell u.... my style is always letting people happy and hence i dun even care a single bit of how i felt. How i wish no one is reading this post. Haha so you read it. Many people really dun understand me. Even the closer ones cos i think that no one has ever understand me before. What they see in school is just a million times different at home. At home, i hardly ever talk. I dun laugh...i dun scream and i hardly do anything. But in school its different. I dun know why. I just felt that i have to act differently at home and in school. Its not spilt personality but i just feel that in school, i will have to be as cheerful as i can be so at home, since i have used up my energy, i am tired. So i decided to sleep, swim, taekwon,watch dramas aiya fan zhen things that wont make me talk at all. And that makes me remember the sana course. Well i didn't talk cos as in a bit when i am suppose to but i had a real bad soar throat. Well i will post another day about sana. See ya!

Okay erm Singapore Anti Narcotic Association i think. Okay....reach there quite late cos the bus driver dun know how to get to compass point there. When reach the SANA house, we then realise we are the only sec 1s there. Others were sec 2-4s. Then the instructer ask if we know hpw to fall in and i gave him the what do u think look. Then he was like sergeant ar then i was like so pai se erm no lar privates lar. Then, the instructor let us to our seats. Oh my god man.....i thought...no we thought aiya everyone thought that the whole company would sit at a particular spot together but who knows, we did not even sit together neither did we sit beside each other but we sat behind each other. They did it on purpose. They think that by sitting in this way, we will never get the chance to talk to each other. Aiya worse come to worse, talk to the gay sitting beside you lor or common sense: turn your body backwards and talk to our friends. I must say we reach late. After everyone settled down, no when we were about to sit down, the instructor was like sit from tallest to tall. Tall ones in front, taller ones behind, understand? Then someone from our company was like no, i dun understand. Wha my gosh i nearly smack my own face man. The instructor was appauled man. He stunned down there for a while then said: oh means the short ones sit in front and the tall ones sit behind. For that instance, one word: EMBARRASSING! Then obviously boys were sitting next to us. 1 beside me called koh something something... okay here comes mr koh. Next, that instructor was like okay today, i give your 1 min to turn to the person beside u and tell him that he very handsome. However, i turned behind to Jolene instead cos siao how do u expect me to do that? So i expect a calm face when i turn to her. God knows, i found her laughing. 2 words: My gosh! I wonder where the hell did she get the energy to laugh man. So i turned back cos i cannot continue looking at her... my eyeballs will drop out. seriously. So i turned back so swiftly that i found mr koh's face so close to my face. Whapiangeh scare me.Then he said: erm... u very cute. But i gave him the expression that can u please take back your lines cos what do u expect me to say? Like eh....shuai ge! U very the shuai leh! Like please man.... its not my style and i bet before he gives me his whatever reaction, my friends all died of heart attack okay. So 1 phrase: I wont do that. I jiang bu chu wan lor. Next, they showed us a video clip on buttock canning. And before that, they told us that if we think we cannot take it, please leave the room cos once, there was a girl who cried like mad after watching the clip. Actually the clip wasnt really scary but they just practically close up on the butt and then they showed how the prisoner must lie onto some wooden table thingy, belt and chained so as to prevent them from hopping around like monkeys during the canning. erm... that was from the instructor so i learnt it from there and quote it. He said that the first two canes will be very exciting cos they will feel the shiokness of it. Then after the 2 strokes, wont feel anything already cos numb already. Then the last 2 strokes also very shiok wan cos going to finish already. He also told us that if the prisoner faints in the midst of the canning, the date will be posponed and not stop the entire thing. Actually the clip showed the slashes made and then the wound slowly bloom flowers and bleed. GOD BLESS. And general, when some people take drugs, when they pee, they are not allowed to close the door to pee but to pee in front of the officers. Oh man. He said the boys maybe can lah but girls ar.... i tell u sure cannot wan lor.....( i think he heard from a guy if canning is really that shiok) then he was like okay later rite, all the boys all line up in one straight line. One by one see shiok or not lor. Okay....lunch was like a pathetic 10 mins thing. Then fall in. keluar baris. go in the roo again for the next lecture.... no its a test. While getting ready for the test, i cleared everything..... yes i cleared everything from the table by swipping away all my coursebook, file and stuff onto the floor. Yea i accidentally dropped it. But i didnt care. I put down my bag, sit down, take out my pencil case. I think the guy coulnt stand it as he was looking at me, thinking that i will not see him. He looked at me as if like eh miss, ur thingsdrop very long already leh. Then, he picked up all the things for me cos he was like thinking if girls nowadays really that dun care dun care type. After that, role play. In my group, 3 gays and i pink lady cos she is wearing pink jacket. When settled in a circle, the boys were like telling each other to talk to the girls then 1 replied: I dun dare and other: but guys should take the first move. So they talk but too bad my voice was like damn hoarse and everyone was like oh my gosh whenever they hear me talk. Then the guy was like: U mean totally no voice ar? Then i was like: eh... if i no voice will i be like talking to u now? I went crazy for a moment and i threw the pen at him thinking that he would catch it but too bad, it landed there.... yea there... aplace where guys ya...aiya in short, private part. Role play was alright as there was a monk to entertain me with the guy always hugging him from the behind. And that reminds me that shannon hated the npcc guy sitting next to her cos he bang his boots then all the kiwi polish spilled on her pearl white bag. She screamed at him like: eh excuse me la u spill ur polish on my bag leh. Are u going to help me clean it? The guy was like giving her some expression and reply but in the end he tabuleh tahan her and bring it to the toilet to help her clean up the mess. Then shannon was known to keep holing her hands with velda who was sitting behind her. The npcc guy then was like i really dun understand ur girls u know, i dun know why ur girls like to hold each other's hands so much. Are ur lasbians? In shannon's mind, she thought: Like ur school dun have gays like that. stupid leh. Damn funny. Aiyo but i think they very perfect match leh. Ver funny to see both of them fighting for their own gender rights. But he always lost to shannon in this kind of debate.And that reminds me that a girl kept turning around to disturb me. I tell u she is duper gross cos i dun know why but she seem to get along very well with the guy beside her that she must tell him that she stomach pain. Then the guy was like: huh... u okay or not? U having ur menses ar? She noded. I salute her. When it ended, they were like: we will dismiss PL first. So everyone stood up. packed their stuff then i think the guy beside me said bye but i wasnt really convinced and neither was i paying attention to him either. Then ar, he hold my hand and sacarstically said: Buhbye. Ya la ya la bye. What the and he touch me all over from my shoulders all way to my thigh to my hands. I remember the rules stated that there should not be any physical contact with any girls and boys. The instructor said: No girl touch guy.......and no guy touch girl..... i also dun want to see girls touching girls.... worst come to worse, i dun want to see boys touching boys. And when they say no girl touch boy, all the boys blushed i think then, the instructor was like: u see... all the boys excited already. In my mind, 3 words: Oh my god. But generally, the lecture was actually funny but becos i kept coughing and that i wasnt feeling well, i didn't laugh at all. But fun lah. Oh ya remembr not to take drugs ar....dun come and read this post without knowing the actual message. Do not abuse drugs!