I dun know why. But these few days, when this 2 words: Drill competition is mentioned, i get headache and all that stuff. Now, i am really scared to join. When i think of having saturdays training, i faint. When i think of 6 hours of training and 9 hours training per day for holidays, i feel so...so scared of everything. I am scared that if i ever tried it, will i regret for life? Of course people will say that you will have a great sense of acheivement when our company wins but now, i....i just dun have the courage to join it. I think that the training are too tedious..... i feel that i will not be able to take it becos i cannot. I feel dead after normal 1 hour drill on friday cca. And hence i never dared to imagine for 6 and 9 hours. Why are all of your pushing me??? I dun feel like joining. I dun have the urge to join becos i am.... drilll is okay but....but even if i join, it will be for the sake of cca points but will i really be happy? I am not talking about the cca points now u know. I am talking about all my energy. When i come back from drill, i will never touch anything but to sit down on the bed and stone u know.... and within a few mins, i can fall asleep. Thats how tired i am. I may seem okay in school but actually i am really tired. Real tired.... Should i join? Everyone is forcing me....i am having mental torture. So what if u all say that my drill is good? Does that mean that i must join drill competition and left with no other choices of my own? Why must all of ur pick on me? Why not shannon and Rachel? Both their drill are even better..... why must ur force me? I really dun get it. I received 58 calls from seniors and friends. its enough. I wont join. If u want to join, go ahead. But i wont join. Dun call me to join wif u when u want to join cos i already give up on everything.....i wont join. U meet davina urself cos i am forever not gonna join. U get it? Tell me what should i do......