AAAAAAAHHH... flu, soar throat, fever. Aiya forget about it. Oh today is a really weird day. I seem to have some....some kind of mo qi with pregnant ladies. I saw 6 today and they are like VERY pregnant and i really do wonder why they are wandering around clarke quay and mrt. So yep i am really tired already and i will stop here..... yeeeeee

Submitted.....hmmm.... i thot it was rather unfruitful? Nonfruitful? Aiya no fruits. I have to waste my time like wearing the sch uni, pinning the name tag and badge, wear sch shoes, tie shoe lace.....all that stuff just to get to sch to submit a tini weeny report book. And worst was take 53 go there, step into the sch, climb the stairs, walk into that class, greet teacher, hand over the report book, say buhbye, walk out of the classroom and we are done. tsk..tsk..tsk....my goodness it was really boring. I expected more.... like friends screaming and playing in class and to my horror.... there was only a teacher..... hmm its okay cos i had melissa to play with. Ha.

I MISS U GUYS..... U ALL HAVE BEEN AWESOME. I REMEMBER THE FUN TIME TOGETHER..........yeeeee

My bro kicked me up in the morning at 7 plus. Bath, eat breakfast, go out. So i reached the new sengkang swimming complex at 9. First look at the complex was preety alright. Went to change out, then i was so happeh that there wasnt any sun. Me and my bros went to the slide pool, they slide but i didnt want to so i just watch. By the way, i dun seem to love slides and ya...if u are a slide lover ar.. that will be the right place for ur swimming plan man. SO many slides, slide until....and all kinds of slides ar... curve one, straight ones, steep ones, got tunnel one, can see sunlight one ( means without tunnel lah), aiya fan zhen its all kinds lah. Then i went to the deep pool myself.... swim two laps and then stand to rest and guess who i saw??? Ryan Cher and the mr koh.....oh my gawsh. They were like damn funny, they saw me already but they act as they didnt see anything. Then ar ryan cher nearly drowned to death okay, they were kickboxing in the deep pool. Deep pool??? My gosh and then mr koh pull him out lah. I have a feeling they both cant swim... ehhh no is can swim but not very good. Then finally they acted to see me all of a sudden and went like: eh hi, i didnt expect to see u here. HAHAHA Then they went on to like: u want to compete with us? 1 lap? My ans was okay fine. They thot guys would always swim faster than girls which is wrong okay. So what if theyve got long legs, long hands, long bodies. Whapiang eh...in the end ar... the two gentlemen ar.... cannot decide who will represent their TEAM. In the end mr koh went. Okay swim swim swim and he was slower than me by 58 secs. WUhooo. Okay then i realise i still prefer Jurong swimming complex. Theyve got wave pool. Got lazy river. I love lazy river..... and so i played with my brothers and at 12 plus, we went to bath and i managed to get out of the pool when the sun was getting stronger. Haha so in the end, i didnt become tan at all... okay maybe a bit. Then we went to eat near punggol and realised that there are so many housig estate and barely even 1 market or food centre. My gosh. Then we went to Tampi giant. I tell u really giant okay. I duno why... all of a sudden... my parents decided to call my grandparents over to eat steamboat. SO we bought many stuff and went home to prepare. Then at 7, we eat eat and eat until i was full. Went to watch tv and saw how saddening it was to be a single mother ( her husband passed on) to take care of 5 children when 1 have never called her mama before. Oh my gosh damn sad. Its very sad to come to the fact that her 5 year old daughter couldnt speak and walk properly and worst her husband passed on when he was walking on the street to collect his medicine. He passed on with his eyes wide open u know... oh my and it states that it was becos he couldnt fang xia his beloved 5 year old daughter... so the wife begged the police to let her talk to him and he actually closed his eyes after that and ya that police ar told her that he fainted and while walking halfway, the police told her to be strong and told her the truth. Damn sad. I feel so..... fortunate as in there are like people who are less fortunate, more unlucky and they are like even much more stronger than i do. If i were them, i tell u... i will jump off the building. So i felt that i should cherish now rather than regret later. I remember the guy's shirt... haha.... dun be sad becos its over.... be happy becos it happened.

meet up with my darling marcus! Oh yes and he showed me his young picture that was carved and printed on stone. Oh my gawsh damn funny. I didnt laugh becos its him when his young but becos he look damn cute. Oh my and yes i gave him a hug and he asked why i slimmed down so much and so i replied: u ask my sister lor. And he actually believed that i had a sister. Oh my gawsh. And he wore blue shirt today and he told me that he passed stage 3 drill. Oh my gawsh...congrats sir. Not bad ar... can become commander liao. And after which, i went home.... so se bu de.... so long never see him... like a month???? We both are too busy. We cant find time anywhere so we didnt meet up for a long long time. And i went home to facebook. Chat with justina for about 20 mins. And now.... i am blogging when i am actually suppose to sleep. But i cant sleep so i decided to blog. I am going to some swimming complex tomo. Confirm tan one lar. So long never swim liao... feel damn weird to swim all of a sudden....... i miss him. Okay back to the topic. And oh i just realised that i only finished a tini wini book review amongst all of the holiday asignment. Eh i spent 3 whole hours doing it okay..... i also duno why so long but all i know is that i slowly scanned the book again, slowly try to recall what the story is about, slowly write and so it ended up with 3 hours. But quite fruitful, 4 pages, no lines no nothing. I felt that it was more like an essay oh and that reminds me that i must write the commonwealth essay thing.... so sian... dun want to do leh... no ling gan...tsk. Never mind plagarise from internet...haha no lar. I realise that there is no drill on next week....whulala no need to polish... hahaha. But i feel like going up to chui air con now leh so
good nite
i want to sleeepppppear

SHANNON! I MISS U SO MUCH! CAN U PLEASE RETURN BACK TO SINGAPORE! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY TO U! I am being bullied in my cca u know. I am so sick and tired of everything that is happening in gb! I am really tired already. Sheryl has officially given up. Things happened and i realised that things changed, people changed, everything changed. Seniors changed, they changed to become caring in such a way that i am so scared. No as in some. Others remained. Some changed to become not the person that i knew at first. Shannon....i have given up. Can u please come home soon.... i need help. I am troubled... i dun feel like doing anything now....i wanna sleep. I gave up.

Alrite today i woke up at 7.30 as usual. I remembered the times when i could sleep to 11 am without having any drill. SO i brush my teeth, wash my face, changed out, eat breakfast,wear my boots, say buhbye to my mom, out of the house, walk to the bus stop, board the bus, tap my card, walk to a seat, sit down. Yep. And all of a sudden, i saw a guy around secondary going jc type, wearing a black shirt. And most interesting was that his shirt wrote: Do not be sad becos its over, be happy becos it happened. So i thot that was rather meaningful and so i alighted the bus. I walk to the main gate and coincidentally saw justina alighting her mom's white istana kind of car that only has a 2 digit number instead of 4. Preety scary. Oh so we managed to get in. I put down my stuff, go toilet pin fringe, sat down in the assembly yard, polish boots, see seniors coming one by one, took out my watch, realised that it was 9, gather the contingent to fall in, fallen in, commander comes, she say watch it, do drill. We first did tunda penanda, ha rather horrendous cos our armswings are way off, so commander semula, run back to original position, do again, improving, but she said it still can be improved, so semula, run back, do again..so its semula, do, semula, do, semula, do and finally dari kanan berdua bilang. I was dua. Firstly our speed, loudness and lowness FAIL. So semula, do again. Loudness PAST but lowness and speed FAIL. So semula, do again. Loudness and lowness PAST but speed can be faster. So do again and finally got the speed too. Then one by one falling in...erm okay lah quite perfect, bangs were together. Then proceeded to long commands. Marching we all got scolding from commander for not putting armswings and bangs together. So i realise she kept saying...gals look at ur armswings, jerk ur armswings, no not enough, jerk more, ur not going market, ur are marching, so jerk and GALS look at ur dressing, take dressing, Claire move up a bit, 2nd rank ur dressing's off, GALS jerk, GALS ur bangs, that was not a nice bang, keblakang pu---sing, okay that was a nice bang, homat kehadapan homat, okay sheryl nice bang, follow timing, GALS ur bangs and look at ur dressing, arms lift up 90 degrees and jerk. hentak, GALS lift up ur legs to 90 degrees, sekuad behenti, okay nice bang. Whalao tsk repeat like how man times u tell me. Ar got somemore..... GALS jerk ur salutes, jerk up jerk down, GALS dun drag ur salutes, GALS ur bangs, take dressing, look at ur dressing, ur bangs, jerk ur salutes, lock ur left arm when saluting, turn with a jerk, lock ur arms and legs and knees when keblakang so that u won lose balance, Gals.... wait i cannot remember. Then we had lunch as a contingent. We walked there and she was like whoever behing me dun run ar, add 5 mins. Aiyo tsk so angry. And my friend told ustina that i never bring inhaler. So kanna scolding again. Lecture me by Whalao Sheryl Ho eh u damn smart leh. Why u never bring? Forgot? Still dare to say. U must well forget that im ur commander. Aiyo tsk u damn smartass leh sheryl ho. Commander force me to eat so i was angry and she laughed cos she never see me angry before. She was like: hahaha angry already. She was like eat, u better eat ar, okay all of ur stare at her, ur remember ar, if she dun eat, ur all stay back, and if she dun eat, no one is suppose to leave and so ur late not my problem, i cannot stand it so i stood up and went off to buy food. I was plain angry and jokingly avoid looking at her. Oh yes on our way beck to sch, few guys were in front of us and all of a sudden one put up both of his hands and was like STOP! So 9 of us stunned down there in the middle of the road. They continued like erm this is for donation so each one of ur donate 2 dollars can already. Justina the smartass was like aiyo they sec 1 only leh, no money lah. Then she was like GALS if ur are late ar, its ur own problem ar. We all ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... damn funny. Then she walk away....saying remember ar if ur are late, oh dun forget ur owe me 32 mins already, i can add 5 more mins to that, so if ur fall in late ar... ur know ar... so we all followed justina and went off so the guys was like waving buhbye to us and justina was like say bye and we were like buyyyyyyy. Okay went back to sch to do drill, no polish boots first and in the midst of that, we had one to one talk with josmin and genesis. Talked about our feelings for the contingent, who we liked and who we disliked, who did this who did that, hows the commander and so on. Fall back in and do drill for a few mins and i nearly fainted and commander finally spotted: Are u okay? *swaying from back to front* fall out fall out. I rested and watch them march. Wha the new timer ar, timing damn fast hentak like mad i tell u. But fast makes armswings neat which is good, quite neat at least in each rank i could only see one hand moving instead of 3. And finally jerk arms 90 degrees. improving so much man. But timing super fast, super scary, imagine the hentak lah, my god and most surprisingly, my commander didnt say anything, i guess shes got nothing to say. I joined back being the timer for tunda again but after a while, genesis didnt want me to do drill anymore cos she dun want me to hurt my leg any further cos i need my legs for the competition. Now its getting painer. But never mind lah... persevere....oh i am damn dead now...good nite.

I was wrong. I was in the wrong. No...it was wrong of me to hide ur bag. So i am so very sorry, justina. I really didnt mean it. It was just for fun and i didnt mean to scare u like that. Sorry. Whao finally today, u opened ur eyes big enough and finally look at my face instead of my legs and spotted that i was about to faint. Good. Improving. But still have improvement. Eh first time leh... i just realised that this was the first time that u spotted someone who is going to faint. Oh and u wore black specs today. Maybe the black specs helped u to have a better vision. Okay...so i am really sorry. Punish me. Do drill for another hour. Run around the track. Anything that suites u lah....sorry. Dun angry ar.

hmm....i still think that my drill can be improved. Apart from the 4 days training in a week, but i still think that its not enough. As in its enough cos its 4 days in a week??? But they will put it to a stop when dec arrives. Like why? I thot they should even train us harder when dec approaches? As in dec, we will be having our drill test once again...since the july one. Today, i feel that my drill improved. We covered everthing that is in stage 2 and i hope ill clear the stage as soon as possible. Oh ya yi hua stomach pain so she only did for about an hour or more. Our timer soar throat, headache and more. So i timed which was quite okay as i timed quite often and i bet tomo, it will once be me again cos our dear timer always cannot take on the heat on sat when its in the sun. Oh i timed till no voice...as in its horse....yep...horse...hoarse. We did tunda penanda at first then it changed to kebelakang on the march then it became pandans then it slowly changed to homats then it gradually changed to long commands then it became beloks then open dressing. Today tunda was horrible....i think that we were all not in the mood to do tunda today and i juz....juz dun have the urge to scream dua out loud. But indeed i tried to. Oh i just found out that when i hentak today, it no longer felt those kind of tiredness and i actually could hentak lifting the legs to 90 degrees for a long time and not feeling the tiredness in me. I dunno maybe its becos the nerves in my leg muscles were damaged or something but i just did not feel tired at all....oh my my legs died. Then i demo beloks for the contingents as command from the commander. Damn embarrassing. Then i learnt open dressing today which was i think the easiest to adapt apart from all the others. 1 check -bang- check up check -bang- i thot it was such a cool thing cos its open dressing....open so indeed the hole was opened rather big that our dressing went off. But it was fun...yap fun. Then i came to realise that my armswings today was damn auto okay. It automatically swing 90 deg when dari kanan/kiri/tenggal. Oh man so i was rather relieved as oh wait .....during long commands, the commander purposely said a wrong command and see if we will turn to the wrong command so indeed...everyone turned except me.... scare me... when everyone turned, i was like oh my god am i wrong am i right or am i neutral. Then a semula came along so everyone turned back. commander asked whether it was a right or wrong command. We said wrong and so she demand us to state why was it wrong. No one answereed so she was like okay.. if no one is going to ans, ur will all continue to stare at the wall until someone wants to reply me. We waited and all of a sudden, she was like sheryl...tell me why is it wrong so i was like die la i forgot whats the command that she said long ago so i decided to try my luck by answering oh erm to turn to the front must have the sekuad akan menghadap... and not begerak and so she was like....did ur hear that? They were like yes mam. Oh so i was right. I thot i was wrong. Other than that....nothing much. Oh i am real tired and i hope i will get on my sleep before tomo's drill. I will officially promise my commander that i will sleep at 11.

Okay.... i am now real piss with my mom. She doesnt understand how tired i am after i come back from drill and she just start asking me when will we get our report book. I told her but she didnt believe me.... she was like huh... but jia mei says that it is on the next day.....then i was like.... okay i am not sure of this and my teachers didnt really say anything about it.... then she was like....eh but jia mei told me that its on some other day.... so i got pissed for dunoo what reason.... i havent been piss with such stuff for many years.... so ya i got real piss and thought about why did she rather trust someone else than the own daughter? What the hell man...i wanna eat ice-cream now lor.....im like so piss and but i do feel guilty for replying: i dunno lah. I havent been so rebellious and naughty to say such stuff to my mom before. Okay never mind. I am okay with her now already cos she just brought me a drink.
Drill today was painful for me. My leg hurts like crazy but i still continued to do it. I know im crazy but the commander wasnt really in a good mood today so i didnt bother. We had theory at first becos of the o levels going on. So we couldnt do drill but instead davina came to teach from the basics of the basics of the most basics of falling in. And the funny thing was she drew a smiley face on her elbow and so she was trying to indicate that if we dun lock our arms when lifting our arms to 90 degrees when marching, too bad, she will have to draw a smiley face on all of our elbow so that when we lock, it will just be a face and the mouth is like somehow just a typical straight line and so those that never lock their arms would be like damn obvious cos the commander will be seeing the face smiling at them. Smart of them to actually came up with this idea that all of us is afraid of cos its really quite embarrassing to walk around with that smiley face drawn on our elbow. Yup so she taught us long commands which i do not understand at all. She was like bergerak kekenan bertiga-tiga and all of a sudden a sekuad akan menghadapan kehadapan kekenan pusing came out and i was like so blur that i went all blank. So forget it. And i actually found out that it was basically just kekeri/kekenan/keblakang. So its just that the command is long. Never say earlier. In the end, we were let into the pri sch parade square and we had a choice from our commander whether we want to to tanda penanda or long commands. The ans is like so obvious that is tanda lah. My gosh man. Its like so much better than long commands but we have to accept the fact that one fine day, we still have to learn it. But i shall put it aside for a moment. Oh ya tanda penanda is really easy once u get the whole process of it. U can dun even listen to the commander and do it correctly cos i said it was a process. Except when she semula us then it is a different story then. Justina semula us about 10 times today and when we were running back to the place that we fall in, halfway, she was like yang tinggi kekenan, rendah kekiri dalam satu barisan paras. SO u can imagine how stunned we were and so everytime, she will say it when we were running halfway through. After which is the dari kenan berdua bilang and i was so unlucky to be dua cos i cant do it. I am those that are like damn inflexible as the first time, i said se so i couldnt let myself accept the fact that i was dua. Next was nombor ganju satu langkah kehadapan , nombor ganju satu langkah keblakang gerak. So i took a step backwards and found myself really out of dressing. So damn embarrassing. Then the orang yang di-sebelah kenan diam, nombor ganju kekenan, nombor ganju kekiri, barisan kekenan dan kekiri pusing and so i just found out that my individual banging was incredibly loud today, so i was stunned. It was damn loud and i felt so weird. We also did some homat and i felt that i was super blur today. I reacted super slowly to every command that was given. After drill, its so funny to talk about how the officer who is going to be a guy who will be going to check and inspect us inside out on the day of the drill competition. Then i confirmed one thing which is yi hua is going to help us get the gold award by flirting with the officers. I thot that was a good idea. And oh man i did something real bad and i feel so guilty. Sorry. I didnt mean to do that. Sorry jus.

I went to school today, limping everywhere i go. Alrite...today we got back our cca certs and so i got 5 which was wrong as the whole company is suppose to get somehow 5 more points so its going to be 10. As 5+5=10, simple rite? Oh wells we slack the whole day through today. We had some telephone ettiquette talk and our speaker couldn't really attract my attention as her voice is like.....erm very soft so i nearly fell asleep. I just realise that my leg is healing very quickly as now, im able to lift up 10 degrees of it. Okay fine go ahead and laugh but its really much betta than on sat nite, i couldnt even barely move my legs. I tore half of it so i guess another half is still intact. I dunno if i should do drill tomo but i think i should. Its so unlike of me to miss something just becos of a minor no no major no no whatever injury. Actually doing drill in the sun is like much more betta than in the assembly area. i dun know why but i feel damn warm in the assembly area and faint more easily in the assembly area than in the sun. So i hope it will be in the sun.

I hurt my leg real bad that i may not be able to do drill or run or do pe ever again. But no friends cared. Its okay. I will depend on myself. After joining my cca, i just realised that i have changed a lot. I changed to become very independent that i do not have to depend on any of u all anymore. I became much stronger to accept the fact that friends are fake, i cant trust them anymore and its true. After going for sat training, we trained under the hot sun and i was over serious in drill bcos of the competition and overpull my leg muscle and the doctor said that i tore part of the muscle already. Do any of ur care? I trust not to believe. Only my seniors cared, my officers and my family. So from now onwards, i can only sit and watch drill performances from my contingent. I will wait and i trust in god that he will be able to heal my leg in time for the competition cos my seniors and officers are praying very hard and i believe he will be able to hear our prayers. I decided to take out the cast and go to school normally and bear on with the pain in school. I will walk on... trust me. no matter how pain is it.... i will walk on. Even if i do not recover, i will participate in the competition and bear with the pain for just a few hours and it will be over very soon. I did that for the school and not for anything else. I just want to get a gold for the school even if i really tore my entire leg muscle and never will i be able to walk ever again. I trained so hard that i will never give up in the midst of it. I will continue to do drill if i can move my leg by a bit on tues. I will persevere no matter how pain is it. Trust me....just for this time.

I looked at everyone in peace and thought about everything that have gone through. And from there, i finally knew some things that i have never thought it would happen before but it happened. I perspective of friends changed. I cant trust in any of them anymore. When u need help, u come to me. When u feel sad, u come to me, thinking that i am forever not as sad as u. Halo? What do all of u take me for? When u have friends, u take me as glass and see me as transparent. When u are alone, u call for me. What do all of ur take me for? U all always come to call for me only when u feel lonely, in search for help. U all call me to complain about everything, its okay but i hate it when u all think that i am not caring for all of ur. Halo? What am i to ur? A friend? Really? I dun think so....ur take me as shit. U all only come to me when ur need help. What about me? When i need help.... no one is there to help me.....no one is there to encourage me.....no one bothered to care. What the hell do all of ur take me for? I had enough. I vougue that i can never trust in any friends cos no one cared for me. When i just want to say something to u all, some run away. Do u know how i felt? I felt that i should never thank u all for anything ever again. No matter it is intentionally or not, no matter its just for fun or not. But just to let all of ur know that i already lose my confidence in friendships totally. I have no friends but only schoolmate. Sad to say..... but its really true.

After getting back our eoy results, many cried. I guess they had high expectations of themselves and bcos of that, whenever something failed themselves, they feel the pain as the more confident u are, the more pain it is. I am not really satisfied with my results either. Honestly speaking. I went home and totaled up everything and what i got was always B3. So i told myself its okay bcos i will try harder next year. And the lowest of all the subjects was only B4 so theres honestly nothing more for me to crave for more than that. People cried. And when i see the state of them, i want to tell them that results is not everything as its just part and parcel of life and most importantly, just work hard and god will give u whatever that u actually deserve to get. So its okay. Next year, just try harder and god will actually sees it.
Yesterday, i was having high fever. But no one actually knows. As i told them that i was just a little sick but i got headache throughout the whole day and i was really tired of everything. Seeing my results just makes the condition worse. No one knows of it so they do not understand how tired i was. It was 39.4 degrees so ya.... but after school, i still have to go for cca. It ended so late and i was really tired. During devotion, ms seah talked about how god has plan our life for us and he had planned the best of us. So we just have to follow to wherever god leads us to and continue with our life no matter how hard it is. She asked us if who was very satisfied with her own results and i guess there were 2 who raised up their hands. Then she asked if who thinks that she is already satisfied with her results and more raised. Then she asked who was disatisfied with the results, so i raised with many more. Then she asked who was really very disatisfied with the results and one particular girl raised. Okay drill was fun. So i think that stage 2 drill was fun. As seniors came to teach and when kekenan lurus, justina came and shake her butt and i cant stand it but laugh and she did it in front of me. So i remembered it was tunda bernanda yangtingi kekenan pandan kekeri jaligan satu baris sampas. And after drill, i somehow miss drill and okay after drill, ms koh came to talk to us about joining drill competition. So i gave it a thought and why theres just something that bothers me a lot.
1) i miss my own contingent
2) no one is joining with me
3) just practically dun think i will be happy with the people in drill competition as u know...i dun like them...they are too proud and my seniors think so and they start asking if they are very sucker. Yi hua ask her what is sucker and that her replied was suck up....suck down.
4) I just dun feel safe maybe becos that no one is joining wif me
5) my mother dun really approved of saturday training and u see... trainings are on tuesdays, thursdays, fridays and saturdays. Unless rachel is willing to go wif me
6) i am just really not sure.
Maybe i shall think it through as maybe it will save 4th coy cos if we were to quit from the competiton, we will never get the chance to get a gold for the company ever again. And thats really sad. And the people in drill competition have attitude problem and this was quoted from the seniors so i dun think i will be very happy to be in the contingent. But i will think it through.

Talking about effort, today i just witnessed our class representatives putting in their best effort. Alright Innovation Week is finally over...phew....it turned out to be more tiring as what i expected. As this the first time we get in line with this Innovation Week thing, i feel that its ok. As before that, we already did more than 10 projects in this year and i just realise that time really passes quickly. I can still remember the times where i was so afraid to sit with Alyssa at first but gradually it was getting really fun. I used to remember myself being known as sheryl yan and many classmates do make fun of me with that by drawing some disgusting stuff about me and him. But gradually, they put it to a stop. However now, although they did not call me that ever again, but i believe that they have not forgotten. Sometimes i may be angry with them when they get overboard but now, when i though of it, it seems so fun when the class is with u. But when the teacher talks about fahrenheit for Geography now, they will still remember what they did at the start of the year. All thanks to yi hua. I remembered that i dared her to tell anyone in the class but she really dared. She did not only spread it to the whole class, but she spread it around the whole level and even people outside our school. I salute her. For innovation week project, i learnt that my group members are really co-operative as we had never quarrelled or maybe i should say that we had so much fun discussing about solar energy. We can even drag the topic away to house husbands who should love our product alot because our group feel that husbands should do chores and so on...so forth. Its so relieved to see us working so hard for a project. Although we didnt win the class presentation....or maybe i should say that i am so relieved over not presenting in front of the whole level. I believed its scary. When our group have QandA session, our classmates are like damn funny as they are debating against who is right and wrong instead of ways that improves the product. When i was there, i did not even feel like saying anything cos its so fun to see this kind of scene where our class finally showed our real side that actually we are not very united at all. However, our class won for this year's innovation week. Hurray! I realised that god has actually blessed our class no matter its the sec 1 camp or this project. Its so sad to think of me being unable to witness how our class won duing the sec1 camp. But i believe god is always there whenever we need them and he has always watch over us no matter how tired, how competitive and how naughty we were. I think what god really wants to see is the effort that we all put in and when we do our best in everything, i believe that god will do the rest for anything. So even if we do not win, i feel that its okay. Because if we had put in great amount of effort, we dun have any more reason to say that we are sad cos theres always someone who is better in us. And the next upcoming competition is the Netball competition. Once result is out, i promised i will post about it. Although i am not taking part in it, but i still hope that we will do our best as i know that they have put in a lot of effort by staying back to train. Its next friday. On my birthday, we will be having some talk and so i am not really that interested in it so...... Oh yes, so effort it should be the most important to me and not whether we win the game or not cos we are always not the best. Theres always someone better than us. So remember tat. Bye.

I DUN WANT TO JOIN! WHY IS EVERYONE FORCING ME? WHY IS IT THAT EVEN MY CLOSER FRIENDS ARE FORCING ME TO JOIN? I REALLY DUN WANT TO JOIN! WHY ARE ALL OF UR FORCING ME? CAN UR DUN FORCE ME? I REALLY DUN WANT TO JOIN! CAN UR DUN SCARE ME WITH MY CCA POINTS? U KNOW I HATE PEOPLE WHO SCARE ME WITH ME HAVING VERY LITTLE CCA POINTS! CAN UR PLEASE LET THIS MATTER REST? I REALLY DUN WANT TO JOIN! I KNOW ALL OF UR CCA POINTS HAVE ACCUMULATED ALOT BUT CAN UR DUN FORCE ME? SO WHAT WITH HAVING CCA PONTS? DOES THAT MAKES U A BETTER PERSON? DO ALL OF UR MEAN THAT HAVING MANY CCA POINTS MEANS THAT U ARE A PERFECT PERSON? DOES CCA POINTS REALLY MATTERS THAT MUCH? I HAD ENOUGH........I DUN WANT TO JOIN......NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. U ALL ARE JUST FORCING ME. EVERYONE IS JUST FORCING ME, THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL.

I dun know why. But these few days, when this 2 words: Drill competition is mentioned, i get headache and all that stuff. Now, i am really scared to join. When i think of having saturdays training, i faint. When i think of 6 hours of training and 9 hours training per day for holidays, i feel so...so scared of everything. I am scared that if i ever tried it, will i regret for life? Of course people will say that you will have a great sense of acheivement when our company wins but now, i....i just dun have the courage to join it. I think that the training are too tedious..... i feel that i will not be able to take it becos i cannot. I feel dead after normal 1 hour drill on friday cca. And hence i never dared to imagine for 6 and 9 hours. Why are all of your pushing me??? I dun feel like joining. I dun have the urge to join becos i am.... drilll is okay but....but even if i join, it will be for the sake of cca points but will i really be happy? I am not talking about the cca points now u know. I am talking about all my energy. When i come back from drill, i will never touch anything but to sit down on the bed and stone u know.... and within a few mins, i can fall asleep. Thats how tired i am. I may seem okay in school but actually i am really tired. Real tired.... Should i join? Everyone is forcing me....i am having mental torture. So what if u all say that my drill is good? Does that mean that i must join drill competition and left with no other choices of my own? Why must all of ur pick on me? Why not shannon and Rachel? Both their drill are even better..... why must ur force me? I really dun get it. I received 58 calls from seniors and friends. its enough. I wont join. If u want to join, go ahead. But i wont join. Dun call me to join wif u when u want to join cos i already give up on everything.....i wont join. U meet davina urself cos i am forever not gonna join. U get it? Tell me what should i do......

Hey friends, i suggest you all to go and watch " the ruins". Its really nice. Its gruesome but very exciting. Nice movie that i can confirm u all that u will remember it for life. Okay maybe for at least 5 years. Oh i would maybe update about this show next time.
I went around singapore and found many hilarious but also annoying stuff. I just came to the knowledge that Singaporeans are really oh my god man. Its like they are not educated cos they dun even have the knowledge of being courteous and so on. They are not polite and they dun have the basic considerateness to the people around them. What a shame. But of course, i am not talking about every one but just the few of them. Especially the aunties. I dun know why but i feel that aunties are the majorities that are qualified for the qualities above. I am not trying to pian jian them or what but todays encounter really change my mind set for aunties. I always thought aunties are really friendly as they always are the ones who talk to u and who always talk very loud when i am young. young. so young that i thought everything were the way it works like the way it works. But maybe i am just i dun know maybe its just the majorities that i saw. How i wish singaporeans can resemble something like the angmoh. U know the friendly and kinds of stuff. Yea i just realise everything in such 1 hour time. Pro. I love adventures. especially on food. i love eating. oh my god i love eating. i am drooling now. okay ya so i hope that one day i could walk through the entire singapore and try to spy out and understand more about Singaporeans. Wha what a short post.

Its so amazing that i actually thot that today's drill was preety fun.
Devotion---- okay....preety fun and ms koh shared with us her experience with the photographer who takes pics of women and children. Then she came upon this nun who was around the age of 8 who was abandoned by her parents so she had to stay a nun. I dun know why but all of a sudden, a word monk came out then i laughed followed by yi hua cos we were reminded of Ryan Cher and i was reminded of yi hua saying that she should keep away from all the gals stuff and dun play monk--ey or something and i decided to join the words to become monkey. Okay then the young girl went to buy a pair of rubber shoes as that was the cheapest type in the shop. Then she left the old pair of shoes in the shop so as to leave it for somone that needs it more than she does. Wha damn touching. I feel that this girl is so poor that she dun even have a lot of money but she feels that in the world, there is always somebody who is even more unfortunate than she is. Good.
Drill--- ahaha they finally saw how bad my drill was when we tried out stage 2 today. I march like crap and i wasnt evenserious for drill today. But i did learn many things okay. Recap: in rehakandiri position, command will be something like tunda bernanda............baris aiyo very long command. right marker will march off and the others will pull down their hand to sanandiri position. Then, another weird command then, 1 bang 2 3 4 left left left right. At this time, always move to the left as all the ranks will have to form up one straight line so is like stairgering. Rank by rank, check in bang. Head turn to the right, take dressing, when the person beside u turn back the head, means u also turn back the head. Next, one by one, say sir and dua respectively in a very fast manner that it resembles one person saying it, also must be low and loud. Then, the another long command which sir will take one step forward with left leg and bang with right leg and the dua will do otherwise. Then another long command on the kekiri kekenan thing that the front will turn to the right while the behind will turn to the left. Then another command to march one by one to form back a contingent. And note that the 3rd person from the previous rank would bang with the 1st person of the next rank. When the own rank completed checking in for all 3 people, turn to left and bang neatly in a rank. Oh my gosh its so confusing and 10 times harder than stage 1 okay.... But its fun today. I hope it will be the next sessions but i doubt so. I really think that all the commanders are rather crazy today and they went crazy after looking at our drill.
Badgework--- ms seah taught us many things on ourselves. And she also told us about herself. It really sounds different from how she behaves on the outer appearance. But rather fruitful and funny when she talked about the generation gap between her and us that she doesn't know the idols that we know and we dont know the idols that she knows. She is very interesting afterall.
Vesper--- normal. yi hua forgot to salute officers. Orhor.
I got my drill badge after sweating for it. I say i will never kiss her.---inside joke