Sometimes, i wonder why living in this world is so tiring.
Sometimes, i wonder why people have to put up a false, superficial, artificial appearance to please a particular person.
Sometimes, i wonder if you are tired of your own crap and nonsense. Isn't those only in the books? Since when was it something beyond what I've read in the books? Yet, it seems so real, yet so fake at the same time.
Sometimes, i wonder what could be your motive for being nice to me all of a sudden. I tried so hard to convince myself that you had the nice treatment, purely out of just wanting to be nice. Yeah, i thought everything was so simple. Yet, i just came to a conclusion that it wasn't something i could understand anymore. Not something i could comprehend just by reading the surface. What do you want from me? I'm in the state whereby you just have to say and I'll follow...
I think living in such pretentious world is way too tiring. I wish it was just a simple one where everyone do not have to pretend. Just, simple. Yeah, that's the word.
If you are reading this, i just want you to think about your actions, your thoughts, your words. Telling people you're hurt. Have you ever thought of how much hurt have you caused to the people around you? Simply no, you didn't. If you did, i wouldn't have to give you upteen chances to change. Each time knowing that you will just take each chance for granted and I'll be the one hurt in the end. But i just had to tell myself that maybe one day you will really change for the better. But why does it seems that the day won't ever come? Why must i have to forgive and forget each time of hurt? Why? Each time i forgive, it means another time of fearing to see a repeat in your actions. I give up. This time, i really give up. Just do whatever you want to do and say whatever you want me to do, I'll obey.

Labels: i love walking in the rain because no one can see me cry