All i wanted was just you to be happy. If you were to ask, so simple? Yes, its that simple.
I just dun felt like saying anything when you said you were a nobody. Simply because this phrase does not appeal to me. Mistakes. Arent they suppose to make us learn? Failures. Arent they suppose to make us stronger? But why has it became something that we all fear and a tool, or should i say, an excuse for us to give up.
All i could do was to sit there and listen out to you. I tried helping but i wasnt of any help because you were so insistent, that all i could do was to sit and watch what happens next. If you ever happen to read this, i just wish you could be happier because all i wanted was just to be happy. I wouldnt ask for more.
I'm not emo, im sad.

Well the camp theme was : ITS NOT ABOUT ME.
But apparently, i think the way we portray ourselves in camp was all about ourselves.
Day 1:
No bag check, no need to surrender handphone.
As ice breaker, we needed to design a facebook group for our squad on majong paper. And i like my advertisments on kiwi polish, one fold socks and safety pins =P
For workshop 1, we had to partner with a sec 1. So i partnered with her and we had to do a craft. She taught me to do the wrong step and we both got scolded badly by klf.
klf: EH HALO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
her: I DUNNO.
klf: AND SHERYL! YOU AS A SENIOR YOU NEVER CORRECT HER LA!
WTH LA. you also never teach me how to do the proper step, how to correct her?
piangeh, then ms chang came up to us and told us to ignore her.
Teambuilding games were good and for this particular game, i had to carry all of them over this high rope. Whapiang. Then i was so tired when it was my turn last.
I lost my voice for drill.
For special night, we had to dance to bollywood dance. haha.

Day 2:
oh my god. I have never eaten such horrible breakfast. I've never really said camp food was horrible before. And this just...... ok forget it. Everything i there has this chemical oil taste which is apparently reused oil after many nights. ahhhh *waves hands frantically*
We folded foam roses and i went around teaching and helping. But in the end, i helped them to fold them. And therewas this girl whom i really feel for her. And we were all asking whats making her so sad and i got to find out that she was bullied by those sec 1s.
We went to bowling and we stayed there for 4 hours straight.
And workshop 2 was just...... my group got punished for something we've not done.

Day 3:
This was the only day i slept really well.
Breakfast was the same food as yesterday. *shrugs*
Had 5 mins to run up and change into full u.
And took dionne's contingent and zina claim that their drill was especially good. HEH.
Then evaluation and went home:DDDDDD *inserts a million smile*

Reached home, something strange happened and fatty didnt bring her key so she came up to my house. she left. i packed. And slept for 5 hours.
Im dead tired.
I didnt enjoy this camp as much as i wanted to.

Im downed with throat infection. Its terrible and im at home completing my NYAA booklet. And its somewhat completed.
Seeing you that day, i waved. But i waved with choosing not to give you a second look. I could but i chose not to. Because seeing you just made me wonder if you are a good friend to me. Maybe you were but whenever i see you, i think of whether a good friend really share the joy and sorrows. You shared the sorrows with me. I know that. And i appreciate you even more then. But it slowly fades off when i came to realise that you only listens to half the story. When you are are happy or sad, i celebrate and cry with you. But deep down your heart, i know you didnt appreciate my presence that much. But i chose to believe you did, until that day i really do not know you anymore. I don't know what goes through your mind till now but i think i should care less about your opinion.
I slowly fade off from clique during recess. And thats becos i realise im in a different class from them and no matter how hard i try to be with tham, its hard to fit in. Not that something happened, but no matter what i do, there is always this sense of not being able to fit in with the A classes anymore. Maybe im stupid and they're smart so no matter what i try to do, there is still this existence of not being able to fit in becos we are on a different level and their conversation often leads me to no where.
ALRIGHTS, WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE BORN IN MARCH???
guof told me not to discriminate march babies. :D HEHEHE
Yihua was sick yesteday, i hope she gets well soon.
I just realised that i still owe chua a valentine heart card. A bigger one. But i guess i could only make her a regular size one. With no upsize as i dun have anymore special paper.
I have to stop coughing in the shortest possible time becos theres camp coming up this weekend.
OH OH OH. I need to do more housework to complete that 20 hours. I only did 4 hours sia.
Will blog again soon when i find time:D
ZAI JIAN:DDDDD

As of today, i pretend i did not know you before 2 years ago. I will see you as someone whom i grew so new to. I can never accept someone so pretentious in my life. I was so gullible to think that you are actually a true friend. And today onwards, you will not be one. You think those friends of yours are the best to you. I have no issues on that. But i just hope you dun become so rude as they do. If not, i will really disregard you as a friend in my life. You are becoming more and more domineering and i do not want a friend like that.
Well, enough about such crap. OWELLS, today is E learning day. Where teachers spam us with tons of work which cant be removed by any form of virus.
Results are out. And i can say that im satisfied although its something good but i just felt that at least my hard work paid off. Which i felt relieved.

Labels: dun wave to me ever again

HELLO GUYS! IM back! I haven't updated for such a long time. Cos i've been on mugger mode these 2 months. I really miss you guys. A true friend is someone whom feel sad when you are down. I thought back and i realised some friends are really true but some are pretentious while some others have already forgotten about you. I've studied hard and i know i've done my outmost best, Exams ended. I really struggled through these days, day by day. I've realised i began to accept my class. I hate changes but its something that all of us have to face one day. I feel like a different person in my class now. Maybe there's no more such things as competitive, where everyone just show their true self. And i like that.
During eng class today, we watched a video " I AM SAM" which is about this father who has very low IQ and behaves like a kid. And his wife gave birth to their child AND she ran away after that just becos she does not want to take care of the baby with him. Its a disgrace to her. And the father managed to take good care of the baby till she grow up like a very normal kid. Even smarter than most out there. One day, the government thinks he is incapable of looking after his daughter and wants to take her away from him. BUT the daughter loved him so much that she taught him how to look after her so that he can prove to them that he is capable of being a good father. Well, its a rather sad story and i felt it was meaningful.
Im quite drained out. And there was a bee in my class today. I was the first that ran out. I hate things that fly of you know me well:)
This sunday is my clique's outing. Hope they have fun.
i know you are lying but i just want to see what kind of lie can you come up with. Well that was just random.
I dunno why but all of a sudden, i felt so new to gb. I have the scary feeling like 2 years ago whenever theres cca. Maybe too much committments has made me really afraid. I feel so stressed, theres so many expectations to meet up to. And there are times where i cant meet up to your expectations. You havent tried it for yourself. I myself do not really believe that being fierce is a solution to it. Dun scream, but correct them instead. We all know the feeling of being screamed at. We've all gone through that and we fear it. Thats why i dun think that method works anymore. We are all numbed.

Labels: going away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

well, here's a post after so long. Well, i should say cca fair was such a bad attempt. Owells, im trying to adapt to the new class. :( Anyways, there's no school today:D:D:D cos of the excellent O levels results. And i lost 2 kg in a week. HEHHEH. And im looking forward to the end of term one.
TILL THEN'

Labels: LEAVING GROUND

HELLO today's eve. School's starting again. HAIZ. The holidays seemed to zoom by so fast that i did not feel that sch days were THAT fast. I kinda dread the feeling to go to school. It sucks great time. But a new year would mean a new chapter begins with new hopes and new things and new.... so on and so forth. So i doubt i will be at anywhere countdowning to the new year. SO HAPPY 2010 in advance :DDD
i dunno why but i kinda not look forward to the new year, you get what i mean?

Labels: this chapter ended

I came to realise that i havent been on the comp for quite a while. And i came to realise that i did not check the sch web for 2 months. SO i decided to go take a look. Wells, the timetable's out today. And wells, its alright luh huh.
AND AND AND i like christmas.

I watched avatar the second time. WOW. Yes, again:DDD
But this time the volume of the cinema is so loud.

HAHAHA. I LIKE THAT MOVIE. IT WAS AWESOME. Soooo jaw dropping. Long but miraculously, i didnt fall asleep. Good show. I think they will have a sequel of it since i thought it was quite a success though. Like all the seats were like fully filled up :D
I've also catched planet 51. Not as good as i thought though. I fell asleep. Maybe becos it all revolved around aliens and more aliens and hence its not as interesting:( SAD SAD.
But well, watched princess and the frog with the DIs. We thought we were childish and maybe you would ask: NI MEN JI SUI LE? But still, it was very touching.
Holidays were fruitful. Im left with one homework. SAY YAY. So i've watched 3 movies in this month. Deciding to watch more with bro:DDD HEHEHEHE. WAITING FOR CHRISTMAS! HOHOHO.
Started with tuition and finished both chapters on A and E math. Matrix is quite easy i guess. And the teacher kept poking fun of me cos i prefered A maths to E. I like shortcuts :D *GRINS WIDEEE*
OWELLS, updated enough. Going to sleep now. BUHBYE. GOODNIGHT.

Labels: eywa

Life is like a piano.
White keys are happy moments and
Black keys are sad moments.
But remember both keys are played together to give
Sweet music

Wells, have been rather busy with quite a number of things and lazy to update.
Oh now, most likely busy with cca fair creative drill.
Oh i can't wait for flag day :D
Cos jolene owes me hi-chew. In specific, GRAPE FLAVOUR. RAWRRRR.
KAYS EARTHLINGS, BUHBYE.

Pick myself up.

Hello guys, i've been out for the whole day. Like wow. I havent been out for the entire day for so long. Went to work and eat and shop. OWELLS, i enjoyed it. Thanks so much to liming and boyfwen:) Thanks so much for being there. And clique outing! Shannon has lotsa things on so i doubt she can make it. *inserts tons of sad faces* During lunch, had a serious talk with mom. HAIZZZZZ.... i actually think i've sighed more than 50 times today. And i was pondering alot today. Abt how in conclusion, i shouldnt have worked so hard for all subjects but actually just focusing on the main ones. Cos i just realised that no matter how poor your humans. are, they dun actually consider that and penalise us for that. Its the main ones that count. So i came to a conclusion that even you worked extra hard for all, they wouldnt reward you. They would just end up like me. Unrewarded.

Labels: im not emo im sad

I actually promised to study really hard if my appeal gets through. But since it didnt, my motivation that drives me to work hard is now gone.

Everyone is either rejoicing or asking me for more help. TYVM. Im vexed up. Why is everyone given a second chance and why didnt i? Why? Theres no one who listens out for me. Everytime my phone rings, i hope its someone whom i can talk and just talk and the person just listens. But that doesnt happens. My phone rings for me becos i need to solve problems for people. Hello do anyone of you guys out there actually know how i feel. I doubt so. Cos if you do, you wouldnt add on to my burden. I feel stupid. Stupid for helping others and at the end of it all, i aint rewarded. Who says god sees my effort? If he did, he wouldnt have done this to me. You said god has a plan for everything. I hate his plan then. God doesnt want any of his children to be sad. But he's making me sad. I hate the school. I just heard of some bias facts of why ppl had their appeal through but i shant state it here. Theres never justice in this world. I actually hope no one is reading this cos im ranting away abt my life. I hate to do so. But i guess this is the only way to pour out everything. So what i guessed was right. unseccessful. Luckily this time round, i didnt carry a single hope with me. People were telling me not to be pessimistic and DunBeSad. Easier said than done. Just take yoursellf as me and you will know how difficult it is not to be sad.

Labels: the last straw

KENNETH! YOU ARE BACK! HAHAHAAH. OWELLS I CANT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY MISSED HIM. HEHE.
DOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWN
Anyways, i shall stay away from the comp for the time being to continue with my homework. Just a few more before getting it done:)
BYE GUYS!

Labels: even if the sky is falling down

HELLO GUYS IM BACCCKKKK! Say yay!
Anyways, it ws really cold right there and there were CLOUDS coming out of my mouth. WUUU~
And theres this incident that kept bugging my mind. This mother pulled her daughter's hair and scolded her like mad. Damn sad.
Anyways, i have something to say.
THE SCHOOL AIN'T GIVING ME ANY REPLY. THEY LEFT ME HANGING RIGHT THERE. Yes, everyone has gotten a reply from the school except me. I dun care if it wasnt successful but at least give me a reply. From all my friends, everyone got a satisfied answer. EXCEPT ME. Talked to yi hua just now and told her how disappointed i was. God has not seen my efforts and neither did he reward me anything. All my friends were rewarded. They were elated. All of them got a second chance but why am i always the one who is left hanging there??? Why?
Im tired. And seeing them so happy makes me sad. Cos no one sees my effort. Each and everyone of them are giving me high hopes. Which im afraid that in turn, it turns out to be just a false hope. Then i would just say that i had my hopes up to high that it came crashing down.
Enough about that. I will wait patiently for the letter. Although im convinced it will be unsuccessful. Shannon said the power of words will make things true. Well, its just a matter of accepting facts. Maybe, late reply = unsuccessful. i dunno. I will just wait and see. It will come one day....
Called up dionne to find out what i've missed out on today's meeting. Its all abt drill. And heard abt jolene and her funny conversation with ms heng abt ms teo. Piangeh, words do not go through her mind. HAizzz always like that.
Alrightssss i'll blog another day. Till then.

Labels: i opened the letter box 3 times today and did not find anything