Oh my mama... today it seems to be the happiest day of this year but i somehow dun feel it. Everything seems to be over but also not. Maybe its too sudden to accept the fact that exams are finally over because i have worked so hard for a year!!!! A year!!!! Okay lets think back.........before the exams, oh ya we did many revision. ( duhhhhh) And ya.... the teachers do most of the talking. ( my brother said duhhhh) okay but its true wat. 6 science papers and 1 encyclopedia thick of maths. At first, i like maths a lot during p6 but now.... no more. Why? Maybe things do change. My perspective for studying maths is changing. No it should be my perspective for studying maths changed. Science was preety hilarious as mrs phua told us about sick stuff and surprisingly, more than 3/4 of the class was like damn ....excited. Excited? Is this the right word? Well, i was traumatised. But i continued to stay cool and calm and consent! She also told us about her maid who didn't close the car door after she opened it because she thought it will automatically close. Worst...she was sitting in the inner side in the car and mrs phua's baby was sitting nearest to the door when the car door swung right open when she drove off without knowing it. She also said that her maid loves to boil water that she place water everywhere. At the living room, dining room and the stairs then one fine day..... omg 2 people fell and somersault down the stairs man. When electricity went off, she told her to bring the torch to her and she bought a lighter instead. So, she is trying to say that she has this maid to teach her the real meaning to haave patience for people whom you practically cannot be patient with. Oh poor thing for both party.
Okay back to the exams...During the exams...... monday arh i write until i sprain my hand. Best. At home, wrap the wrist with bandage then in school, take it out ( duhhh) tuesday......okay.......wed......okay.......thurs.....okay Aiya fan zhen everday seems okay to me.
Most surprisingly, i dun feel anything now. Things doesn't seem to end yet. Maybe its bcos of the stress coming to me for the friday cca. I really dread to go okay. Do u know the feeling of having to put cca to a stop is like heaven to me but when its starting, whapiangeh the feeling is like.... being pregnant like that okay.... i dun want to go but i have no choice cos......erm......everyone say so. I am tired now. I dun want cca. I dun want to go for drill. Can i say that everyone is pressing me in school for drill....everyone is like practically gluing their eyes on me okay....thats why im so scared of making mistakes. Okay i remembered that i studied so hard u know. Even harder than PSLE. best. I dun know why. But this exam seems to be so important.
I am getting tired over everything. I feel that i am not as close to my friends anymore. I feel that i am so tired of everything. maybe bcos its the exams that exhaust me out... but i dun know. Friends change....they change bcos they mix with other people and soon after, they change to become more and more like them. Some make me feel so piss and some would be leaving me for vacation for a long period of time. They will never understand the feeling of loneliness. Ya so i decided to like stop being so close to them afterall as the closer u are to them, when they are leaving u, the more pain u have to endure. The pain is greater when u are closer to that person. So i have been going with other friends as i know secrets about her and another girl so i decided to leave them. I think they felt that i was less close to them and they think that i go with another girl because i am selfish so i leave them. But thats so not my style. I tell u.... my style is always letting people happy and hence i dun even care a single bit of how i felt. How i wish no one is reading this post. Haha so you read it. Many people really dun understand me. Even the closer ones cos i think that no one has ever understand me before. What they see in school is just a million times different at home. At home, i hardly ever talk. I dun laugh...i dun scream and i hardly do anything. But in school its different. I dun know why. I just felt that i have to act differently at home and in school. Its not spilt personality but i just feel that in school, i will have to be as cheerful as i can be so at home, since i have used up my energy, i am tired. So i decided to sleep, swim, taekwon,watch dramas aiya fan zhen things that wont make me talk at all. And that makes me remember the sana course. Well i didn't talk cos as in a bit when i am suppose to but i had a real bad soar throat. Well i will post another day about sana. See ya!